Hallo-Teen
01/11/2008 . Source: Geoff Willmetts 
A really short story of Halloween by: GF Willmetts. Buy Halloween in the USA - or Buy Halloween in the UK  I hate Halloween! A bloody American import that the local children definitely don't get. I mean, if you don't have a hollowed pumpkin with a lit candle inside you're not supposed to come and treat or treat. So why visit my house?
I'll give them trick after last year when they tried to burn my door down. All the paint in the world didn't sort that out. It was 'fun' for the teens that did it. Ha-bloody-ha!
I was ready this Halloween. No candle-lit pumpkin in the window. Not that I had one any year. Lights off. Nothing to show I was home. I hid in the bushes as a young teen arrived at the door.
He knocked. Repeatedly. No one home, son. On your way. No! He started pouring something through the letterbox. Ready for you, you little sod.
I stepped out and with one fell swoop took his head off with my hatchet, kicking a bucket under him to catch the blood from his neck as his body tipped down the step.
What to do with the body. There was the rub but it is Halloween. This time I was going to take part in the festivities with a barbecue.
Putting the naked body on a spit, its arms and legs neatly tied, I roasted it over an open fire and let the smell of meat draw his mates. I didn't even stay to watch. The little bleeders fed without any encouragement from me on the free meal.
What about the head you might say? Did I put it in a pumpkin or on a stake and claim it was only a waxwork? Nah! That was too obvious. I put it in a bucket with apples on top. Even his idiot pals wouldn't think of dunking for apples. If they had, their faces would have been a treat.
Trick or treat?! Laugh this off, you little buggers. Screw with me again and I was ready for a repeat performance.
end
(c) GF Willmetts 2008-10-28
all rights, legs and heads reserved |
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